My Human Question

Well, I'm about an hour late in crafting this week's blog. I wish I could say with honesty that I care.

I am so unbelievably fed up. All I want to do is carve a little niche somewhere in an abyss and vanish into it. I honestly think that's the only way I'll be left alone, and that's all I really want in this life. I just want to be left alone. When I observe human life around me and throughout the world, I am given the impression that it's intrinsic for us to want to be involved in others' lives, mutually shaping what happens to each other for our own benefit. Getting even deeper into it, I think it's just plain and inherent nosiness that drives individuals to be an interference in one way or another in someone else's life. To really put the point I'm driving at in perspective, let's examine the current human condition. The overwhelming majority of humans on this planet live in governed civilizations. Anytime you have concentrated amounts of people coexisting, it seems only reasonable that whatever natural traits or tendencies they hold in common, be it one or many, are going to manifest themselves into whatever system is established, and thus the reaches and consequences of these traits are magnified intensely.

Empirical evidence is the primary basis for my aforementioned claims. Now, more than ever before, the government and all of its contents are digging their nails deeper into every facet of human life. At the risk of sounding like the typical(ly uninformed yet over-enthusiastic) college student activist, some examples: unprecedented progress toward socialized health care or a public option; increased funding for police, military, Dept. of Defense (and all of its auxiliaries), and any other tool of interference in private citizens' lives; eminent domain; numerous attempts at legislating morality with regards to such issues as abortion, affirmative action, and homosexual rights; unrepresented taxation; an unspeakable amount of military intervention abroad weakly disguised as being in the name of our interests when in reality their purpose is to preserve the invidious interests of the state; etc.

It seems like there's a lot of pertinent evidence to support my claims regarding our tendency to be involved in the goings-on of others' lives. However, against all this stands one unfaltering testament to quite the contrary: me. I am generally indifferent to what happens in others' lives, and I certainly do not advertise myself nor my endeavors for all the world to be privy to. I keep to myself, and I damn sure wish others would do the same. It absolutely kills me that I live my life to myself, bothering nobody, but the state will practically have a fucking stroke trying to dive into it at any chance they get. Furthermore, the state acts with such impunity that I'm left to wonder if any of us are really human anymore. Are we? Or are we just unsuspecting subjects of a play that we think we're controlling but that has actually already occurred?

Every passing day brings something my way, whether it's a news item or something that happens to me, that cements my desire to disappear. I guess that's what apathy will do to someone. Although, this isn't always the case. Sometimes the apathy lacks, and something far worse fills its void. Aggression, hate, unbridled anger, and contempt. When apathy directs my actions, I'm unsatisfied. When I act not at all, I'm unsatisfied. I have yet to exercise any motions influenced by the alternative and fear what will happen if I do.

vocab words: invidious and impunity