An Observer, if Anything

I have a hard time keeping up with this because I don't generally "free write", if we can call it that, if I'm not particularly inspired by something or at least feeling a little creative. Nine times out of ten, when I set out to write with no inspiration, I end up squelching whatever crap it is I come up with and decide to do something else like play video games. I especially prefer not to write something that will be made public if I don't truly feel like I have something (hopefully important) to say.

And that's just it - I don't have much to say. When asked, in the form of an essay question or debate topic, I could speak on a lot of things for a long time. This does not mean, however, that I care about any of those things, as it neither implies my opinion on any of them. Don't infer that I'm totally apathetic; I'm just trying to illustrate my point, and the point is that I like to keep to myself and really would prefer not to express much at all.

I go through these phases where I latch onto something that either really bugs me, or that I really care about. Thus far, since starting this blog, I have covered a lot of the things I am currently concerned with. What I mean is, I've just about run out of fuel for the time being. There are billions of other random thoughts clogging up my brain tubes with a veneer of intellectualism that I wouldn't mind revealing, but that's just what they are. Thoughts. One-liners. They stop short of providing a full-fledged post or discussion. I don't know enough about anything to really develop them, and I don't really care to. What I would like to do is simply carry on in about the same manner I have for as long as I can remember.

I've always been quite observant, noticing and remembering things that most people don't. I can recall the little things in life just as well as the important ones, and it used to trouble me that most people don't. I've come to be able to accept this now. I figure that most people are so concerned with the big things, that the little ones just fall to the wayside, having little impact on them and their big lives. I've long lost my ability to articulate the point I'm getting at now, which sucks because I think it's a really nice point.

vocab words: veneer and squelch(ing)